God is... I am... why should I.... how can I?

Psalm 19:7-11

"The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.

⁸ The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.

⁹ The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.

¹⁰ They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.

¹¹ By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward."

These verses mean so much to me right now!In God teaching me about true intimacy with Him, these verses are showing me who God is, what He wants to do with my life, how I can let Him, and why I should let Him.

What/who God is:

• Perfect
• trustworthy
• right
• clear
• pure
• true

What He wants to do with me:

• revive my soul
• make me wise
• bring my heart joy
• give me insight
• give me a great reward (heaven!)

Why should I let Him do these things in me:

• He is forever
• He is fair
• He is more desirable than gold
• He is sweeter than honey
• He warns me because He loves me

How can I allow this to happen:

• Obedience to Him and His word

If I'm going to get more intimate with God and get to a place where I can pour into others from a never ending wellspring of His love, joy, peace, and energy, then I'm going to need to learn these things... and quickly! God knew that I would need this summer to deal with these things because when the fall hits, it's going to be too busy for me to give this the focus and attention it deserves.

On another note, I've been drawing more and more lately. It's been very therapeutic.

now is the winter of our discontent...

I'm finding myself discontent lately. I didn't know it was happening until recently. I knew something was a little... disconnected, but I didn't know what or why. Now I know. Even though I'm surrounded by friends, family, and people that love me very much, I find myself discontent with the state of my life. Quite frankly, it's a little lonely.

But why? Because I'm not married? Because I'm not in the stage of life I think I should be in? Because I might secretly blame God for keeping me in one place too long and that's apparently a bad thing? Or because I blame myself, as if I had the choice to move on to the next stage of life and I passed it up?

E: All of the above.

I want to be married and I'm not. That's that. I see people who are the next stage of life and I want to be there. I'm tired of the problems that come with my current stage and I'm ready for new challenges. Yes, I do blame God. He's in control, isn't He? This is His show after all. And yes, I blame myself. I've had two distinct opportunities to move on to the next stage of life and I didn't.

But here's the thing about all that: if I'm not faithful with what I have been given in this stage, I won't be given anything new. If I'm not content with God in my current stage of life, I'm not going to be content in the next stage. Yes, God is in control, and He's a lot wiser than I am and He knows that moving me too quickly through life isn't going to turn out well for me. The decisions I've made in the past, I made after consulting a wise counsel and had a peace about them. Blaming myself now for making the right decisions then just seems silly, but you just saw me do it a paragraph ago.

The point is this: we, as humans, are pretty much stupid when it comes to what is best for us. Yeah, we make a right decision every now and then, but statistically, we're not good at running our own lives.

While I have been searching for contentment, the thought of asking God for it hadn't really entered my mind until today. I mean, praying for God to help me be content in Him... it just seems kinda wrong. Shouldn't my own contentment be something I can handle on my own? No, that's the point! We can't handle it! Something as huge as our own contentment, we cannot, nor should we try, to handle!

Here's what David said about it:

Psalm 62:5-8

⁵ Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. ⁶ He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. ⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. ⁸ Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

David pretty much ordered his own soul to find its rest in God and then told it why God was worthy. David then moves from his own soul to all his peoples souls. Basically, David says "do this, because God will never let you fall." Is that a good enough reason to find my contentment in God? Simply because He's trustworthy? I can honestly say that I have tried to find my contentment in things other than God and have ended up very disappointed and discontent with myself and the world. But shouldn't I find my contentment in God because that's where it really is? Shouldn't I rest in God because I love Him and He loves me? My human heart doesn't always understand that.

Later, David says this:

Psalm 86:11-12

¹¹ Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. ¹² I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.

David has to ask to be taught God's ways. He had to ask for an undivided heart so that he could love God as God should be loved and that he could fear God the way God should be feared.

My prayer today is this: that God would see fit to give me this undivided heart so that I can long for the things God longs for in my life. So that I would be able to see how He sees and help people and glorify God the way God should be glorified. I stink of humanity and sin and that hinders me from praising the Eternal God the way He should be praised. But that doesn't hinder me from asking that God make my heart whole so that He can use it for His glory.

I think I'll work on a drawing/painting to illustrate this "whole heart" idea...

pity parties...

... are only fun for about 2 seconds and then you realize how useless they are. I mean, sure, things happen and sometimes those things might suck a little bit, but what's the purpose of focusing on them?

A friend sat in my kitchen one night and told me all about how her life was just going right down the tubes. She threw herself a big ole pity party right there at my table. At the end of a lengthy description of everything going wrong in her life and about 30 minutes full of self-pity, she looked at me and asked, "What should I do?" I looked right into her eyes and gave her ( I think) the best advice I have ever given anyone! "Stop it!"

Stop feeling sorry for yourself! You're missing the lesson God may have for you in your circumstances.

Stop complaining! You can't hear God speak if you don't stop talking.

Stop whining! You're just proving your lack of faith.

Stop acting like a victim! God made you to be a victor through His power.

Stop doing things you know are going to hurt you! God did not create you to be stupid.

Stop chasing away your friends by being a "Negative Nancy"! God created you to be an encouragement to those around you.

Stop working under your own power! God created you so that He could work through you.

Stop acting like you don't know what's going on! God has clearly shown you in His word how to live.

Just stop it!



end rant.

Never Alone

by Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths."

Friend To Friend
The Bible is filled with miracles where God intervened directly in time and space.

· Dividing the Red Sea

· Raising the dead

· Healing the blind

· Turning water to wine

God used miracles in a limited world to demonstrate His unlimited power. It is easy to see Him in the miraculous events of life but I believe God's greatest work is in our everyday lives where He takes the ordinary and uses it to create a magnificent design. We are experiencing God daily. We simply don't know how to recognize Him.

I heard about a pastor's young son who came running in the house after playing outside for hours. His mother took one look at his dirty hands and told him to go wash them carefully. When the little boy asked why he had to wash his hands, his mother told him that there were germs living in all of that dirt. The little boy refused and began to complain, "Germs and Jesus! Germs and Jesus! That's all I ever hear around this house, and I've never seen either one!"

Just because we can't see God at work doesn't mean He isn't at work. In fact, God is always at work in our lives. We just need to look for Him.

1. Look for God in circumstances.

God is constantly at work in our lives preparing us to do what He created us to do. A.B. Simpson says: "God is preparing His heroes, and when the opportunity comes, He can fit them into their place in a moment. And the world will wonder where they came from." When we understand that God integrates every circumstance to accomplish His will, it is easier to trust Him. Even when we do not understand, even when we can't explain it, even when it doesn't make sense or seems wrong, we can choose to trust Him. It is easy to trust God when the seas are calm and the skies are clear, but the strength of our faith is measured in the midst of a storm.

A crisis always reveals what is really inside. Letting go means that we trust God enough to obey Him. Trust is demonstrated by obedience and what I do reveals what I believe about God, regardless of what I say. God will not waste direction on a disobedient heart. The more we obey, the more we will trust. The more we trust, the more we will obey. God reveals His plans to an obedient heart. When we trust God enough to surrender our will to Him, we will find that He is Lord of our circumstances.

2. Look for God in people.

Proverbs 27: 17 "As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other."

"Each other" literally means "companion or friend; neighbor or associate". God uses every relationship to improve us and to accomplish His will in us. People come into our lives for eternal reasons. Relationships are mirrors. In them, we see reflections of ourselves. Relationships expose the weaknesses we try so hard to bury and teach us important lessons like forgiveness, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. If we need to learn patience, He brings someone that is irritating. If we need to learn to love, He will bring the unlovable. God takes those people we call "difficult" and uses them as pruning tools, tools of molding and refining. If we fail to learn from one, He will send another. Even if we do learn from one, He will send another to teach us a different lesson.

3. Look for God in mistakes.

Romans 8:28 "We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him. They are the people he called, because that was his plan."

Even the disasters that strike us are intended for our good. God is in control. Ivory soap is the "soap that floats" but it wasn't always that way. Years ago, this soap was just another brand among many -- until a factory foreman made a mistake. He left a batch of new soap in the cooking vat and went to lunch. He was late getting back and the soap overcooked. It seemed to clean the same. It was just lighter. He could choose to report the mistake, and get fired, or he could make the best of it and ship it out. The results of the "new" soap surprised everyone. Instead of complaints, the company was deluged with orders for this floating soap and the foreman was promoted. God often works the same way. He takes our mistakes and brings good out of them. If we let Him, God will use the pain of our sin the destruction of our mistakes as the foundation upon which He builds a new life, a better life. What we call "dis-appointment" is really "His appointment." God does not waste a single experience.

4. Look for God in a personal relationship with Him.

John 10:27-28 "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never die, and no one can steal them out of my hand."

The plan of God is revealed through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. We were not created just for time. We were created for eternity and if we live just for this life, we will miss the ultimate purpose of creation. When our circumstances don't add up, the people in our lives seem to be clueless and our mistakes make no sense, we can keep coming back to this relationship because we can depend on God to meet every need. When we know God, His power is credited to our life account. We could be living in spiritual wealth instead of spiritual bankruptcy.

The story is told of a business man who was selling some warehouse property. The building had been empty for months. Vandals had damaged the doors, smashed the windows and trashed the place. As he showed a prospective buyer the property, he took pains to say that he would replace the broken windows, make any repairs needed and clean it up. The buyer said, "Forget about the repairs. When I buy this place, I'm going to build something completely different. I don't want the building. I just want the site."

God is waiting to work in your life. You don't have to repair anything or clean up anything. He just wants you and is waiting for you to come ... just as you are.

Let's Pray
Father, I want to see You and know You more. Please help me to look beyond myself and my own circumstances to see Your hand at work in my life. Help me remember that You are my source and will supply my every need. When I make a mistake, help me find a seed of victory in it. I pray that You will open my eyes and my heart to the people and circumstances around me and help me see You in every part of my life. Thank You, Lord, for all that You are doing -- now -- in my life.

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Read the following bible verses and think of ways each one can be applied to your life. Then memorize these verses and invite the Holy Spirit to bring them to mind when you need them.

• Psalm 33:20 "We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield" (NRV).
• 2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, 'My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you'" (ICB).

• Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not be in want" (NIV).
  

Christian Noise

"Listen and hear my voice; pay attention and hear what I say" (Isaiah 28:7 NIV).

May we never get so used to the "noise" of Christianity, that we cease to hear the actual voice of God.

Let me give you example. Come sit with me in an airplane just before take off on my recent trip to North Dakota...

Here we go again, I mused as the flight attendant began her routine instructions. I grabbed the latest copy of Sky Mall magazine tucked in the seat pocket in front of me and began flipping through the pages. The man to my right continued reading the headlines in the day's paper. The woman to my left was a first time flyer and paid close attention.

I glanced around the plane and noticed very few people listening to the flight attendant's life saving instructions. Then it hit me. The frequent flyers paid little attention, not because we were being rude, but because we had heard it all before. The safety procedures were routine information. The hum of the flight attendant's voice merged with the roar of the engine, so we ignored her.

But you better believe that if the pilot announced in mid-flight that a crash landing was imminent, all of us "been there, done that" passengers who did not pay attention to the emergency procedures would all be reviewing those safety instruction cards in the seat pocket in front of us quicker than you could say "buckle your seat belts."

May we never get so used to the "noise" of Christianity, that we cease to hear the actual voice of God.

truth

In my life, searching for truth and trying to discern what is and is not God's truth, I have noticed that people who have lived their whole lives in the same church, with the same people, with the same beliefs and have never gone outside of that environment, really don't have the strength that someone who has seen other things and experienced other places has. It's almost as if they are a child who stayed inside the house their whole childhood versus the child who went outside every day and ran and played with friends and got dirty. It's true that the child who stays inside has a less likely chance of getting hurt by circumstances and other people, but they probably won't experience the muscle growth and social skills that the child who plays outside will.

Because of my family's tendency to move around when I was a child (I was a Navy brat), I was never the one who got to stay inside. In order to survive, I had to run out and make friends. I've also been known to play in the mud and dance around in the rain. I was a curious child, always asking questions and trying to figure things out. Some things I have accepted that I'll never really understand every aspect of it. God for example, I know I will not FULLY understand every single little aspect of Him until I'm in heaven. But that doesn't mean that I don't accept Him, live for Him, and fully rely on Him for my needs.

Some things, however, I need to fully understand and I should be able to with enough research. One of those things in the Emergent Church. At this point, I've asked people I trust to give good and solid answers and I believe that they have given the best answers they could. But I'm still searching for what it REALLY means. I'm coming to an understanding of the differences, but the real and basic theology of Emergent just seems so... vague. Maybe that was their goal. If so, that feels kinda sketchy. But if not, then I need to research more. When I see something, I want to either know what it is, or know how I can find out and file it away until I can look it up (which is why I tend to always have a little notebook and pen with me, so I can write things down that I want to look up later). In this day and age, I should be able to google anything and find out what it is, where it is, why it is, and who it is. I have found a lot of info on Emergent, but I'm still not satisfied with the answers I have been given.

It's times like this that I sometimes frustrate even myself with my need to know and understand.

Power Struggles

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. ~ Isaiah 40:29, NLT

I love the multiple meanings in this verse! It is such a simple thing, yet we find it so difficult to abide by!

Meaning #1: God gives power to those who are weak. Meaning when life, circumstances, or mistakes you have made beat you mercilessly to the ground, God gives you power (should you ask for it). When a downtrodden (to use a churchy word) believer needs power, they have only to ask God for it and wait expectantly. God gives strength to the powerless. When you have nothing, there seems to be no way out and no one to help you, God gives you strength. Basically, the traditionally accepted meaning: God helps you when you're weak and powerless. This shows the person as being powerless, not by their own choice, and God helping them.

Meaning #2: God gives power to those who are weak. Meaning, God gives power to those who make themselves weak before Him because they realize that His is the ultimate power. Those who willingly make themselves weak for God's sake will be rewarded with His power. Motivations play a HUGE role here. Making yourself weak does NOT involve self-deprecation, letting people push you around and treat you badly just so you can be shown as weak to get some of God's power to pay them back later, and it does not mean that just anyone who is weak has access to God's power. This is a believer-only offer. God gives strength to the powerless. When a believer realizes and shows in their lives via their actions that they give all power in their lives to God, God will reward that with a strength that could not have come from any person. This shows the person making themselves less so that God can be made more and can be glorified through their actions and lives.

God doesn't want His people to suffer, He loves us but he knows that a certain amount of suffering is necessary. After all, how can you know what light is unless you have experienced darkness. Will you appreciate the light as much if you had no clue what it was to stand in the dark for a while? Doubtful.

With who's voice do you speak?

Last night was our first night of prayer for Genesis and the Tacketts. There were eight people and God. It was good. And a few things were revealed that night. Some to me, some to Lewis. For Lewis, the power of prayer in his life and in the life of his future pastor came to a new light and he felt compelled to do something about it. I smiled at the man of God I saw in him last night. And while Lewis was talking about God doing something, although he did not know what, God was whispering in my ear and showing me a glimpse at what the end result will look like in both Lewis and CT's lives. I'm pretty sure I giggled.

For me, it was something different. Yes, the power of prayer, but also the voice with which we as Christians speak. We can speak with our voice and things get accomplished. But Psalm 29 talks about the voice of God and all that it can accomplish.

³ The voice of the LORD is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the LORD thunders over the mighty waters.

⁴ The voice of the LORD is powerful;
the voice of the LORD is majestic.

⁵ The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars;
the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.

⁶ He makes Lebanon skip like a calf,
Sirion like a young wild ox.

⁷ The voice of the LORD strikes
with flashes of lightning.

⁸ The voice of the LORD shakes the desert;
the LORD shakes the Desert of Kadesh.

⁹ The voice of the LORD twists the oaks
and strips the forests bare.
And in his temple all cry, "Glory!"

All this is accomplished simply by His voice! What a voice it is! What could we accomplish if we spoke with the voice of God? Meaning, how would lives, our own and of those around us, change if we spoke only what God told us to speak and then speak it with the power and authority that He has given us? How would our own lives change if we listened for the voice of God before we listened for the voice of Oprah or Dr. Phil to tell us how to live? There is a truth in the voice of God that is unparalleled!

Last night I prayed for Genesis, Craig, Brittany, and Tyler. I prayed for the people in the room with me, I prayed for people that were not there, and I prayed for myself. I prayed that I would be able to see the truth in the people around me, that I would be able to see truth like a shining light and run from any darkness. I have recently been fighting against a disillusionment that I had with a few different pastors to whom I listen. It bothered me for a while that what they were saying was not original, that it came from some other pastor. I think it bothered me most because they seemed to own what they were saying to such an extent that I hadn't even thought for a second where they learned it. But God reminded me that there is nothing new under the sun and just because they didn't personally think up these good things, that does not devalue what they were saying. The voice with which they spoke was so powerful, I didn't even stop to think where the information came from, only that it was right. Part of that scares me and prompted me to pray to see truth. The wool has been pulled over my eyes in the past and I have no desire to reenact that scene. God has given me a lot of discernment over the years, but I know I need to be closer to Him, to be engulfed in Him.

Here's a song that's been speaking to me a lot lately:

Burn Us Up by Shane & Shane

There were three
Before the king
There were three who wouldn’t bow to him
For when you heard
The music play
And you were standing you would burn.
They looked at him and said…

Burn us up! Burn us up! Burn us up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of
Your desire
We give up! We give up! We give up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of
Your desire!
Won’t you throw us in the fire!

The king enraged
At what they said
Sent the three away to find their death
The palace stopped in unbelief
When the guilty raised their hands to sing
They looked at him and said…

You are able to deliver from the fire of affliction
It’s the declaration of my Lord
You’re not an image of gold
You’re the God of old
You have made us
Come and save us
We are Yours
But even if You don’t, we will burn!

a few things I learned this weekend

1. I'm wrong a lot.
2. Relying on the wisdom of those wiser than you is a wise thing.
3. Never underestimate the importance of family and spending time with them.
4. There is nothing new under the sun, but that should not make a worthy thing any less valuable.
5. Never put two male toddlers in the same room and expect peace.
6. Rest can happen in the midst of chaos.
7. Within a the next year and a half, I will probably emerge as being the only single one left in my family.
8. When friends are incredibly happy with their lives, they sometimes forget to be sensitive to others, but that should not change the friendship.
9. Having someone to talk to is important. Talking to God is more important. Listening to God is top priority.
10. My fears are tiddlywinks to God's plan and God's power.
    

Sola Scriptura: one of my favorite stories!

Acts 12:1-18

Peter's Miraculous Escape From Prison

¹It was about this time that King Herod arrested some who belonged to the church, intending to persecute them. ²He had James, the brother of John, put to death with the sword. ³When he saw that this pleased the Jews, he proceeded to seize Peter also. This happened during the Feast of Unleavened Bread. ⁴After arresting him, he put him in prison, handing him over to be guarded by four squads of four soldiers each. Herod intended to bring him out for public trial after the Passover.

⁵So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him.

⁶The night before Herod was to bring him to trial, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries stood guard at the entrance. ⁷Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. "Quick, get up!" he said, and the chains fell off Peter's wrists.

⁸Then the angel said to him, "Put on your clothes and sandals." And Peter did so. "Wrap your cloak around you and follow me," the angel told him. ⁹Peter followed him out of the prison, but he had no idea that what the angel was doing was really happening; he thought he was seeing a vision. ¹⁰They passed the first and second guards and came to the iron gate leading to the city. It opened for them by itself, and they went through it. When they had walked the length of one street, suddenly the angel left him.

¹¹Then Peter came to himself and said, "Now I know without a doubt that the Lord sent his angel and rescued me from Herod's clutches and from everything the Jewish people were anticipating."

¹²When this had dawned on him, he went to the house of Mary the mother of John, also called Mark, where many people had gathered and were praying. ¹³Peter knocked at the outer entrance, and a servant girl named Rhoda came to answer the door. ¹⁴When she recognized Peter's voice, she was so overjoyed she ran back without opening it and exclaimed, "Peter is at the door!"

¹⁵"You're out of your mind," they told her. When she kept insisting that it was so, they said, "It must be his angel."

¹⁶But Peter kept on knocking, and when they opened the door and saw him, they were astonished. ¹⁷Peter motioned with his hand for them to be quiet and described how the Lord had brought him out of prison. "Tell James and the brothers about this," he said, and then he left for another place.

¹⁸In the morning, there was no small commotion among the soldiers as to what had become of Peter. ¹⁹After Herod had a thorough search made for him and did not find him, he cross-examined the guards and ordered that they be executed.