Signs on Church Property

"No God-No Peace. Know God-Know Peace."

"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

"Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."

"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

An ad for St. Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

"Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons-come hear one!"

A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "The Resurrection is postponed."

"People are like tea bags-you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."

"God so loved the world that He did not send a committee."

"Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!"

"When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right."

"Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday."

"Fight truth decay-study the Bible daily."

"How will you spend eternity-Smoking or Non-smoking?"

"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."

"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?"

"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."

"In the dark? Follow the Son."

Random Quotes

The following quotes will serve as an introduction to who I am, what I believe, and how I think. I could write something original, but it's easier to stand on the shoulders of others then to actually think for myself (if you don't recognize the sarcasm in that statement and understand the total irony of it all, maybe you aren't suited for reading this and should probably rethink your position on blog reading).

I can lose my hard earned freedom if my fear defines my world
I declare my independence from the critics and their stones
I can find my revolution I can learn to stand alone

There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. - Shakespeare

Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here! - Dumbledore

Piracy is our only option.- Jane Austen

Brandi: have you ever noticed that there are a lot of ugly funeral flower arrangements?
me: Um... yes?

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
~ Mary Hirsch~

It all depends on how we look at things, and not on how things are in themselves. The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
— Carl Jung

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!
— Dr. Seuss

Mirrors should think longer before they reflect.
— Jean Cocteau

Mirror, Mirror on the wall have I got it? Come here, you've always told me who I am. I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect. So sorry, you won't define me. Sorry, you don't own me! Who are you to tell me that I'm less than what I should be? Mirror I am seeing a new reflection. I'm looking into the eyes of He Who made me. And to Him, I have beauty beyond compare. I know He defines me.

S safely
H held
E eternally in
E everlasting
P peace

Happiness is like a kiss - it feels best when you give it to someone else. ~Author Unknown

13 "Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones. 14 But Zion said, "The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me." 15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! 16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;"
-- Isaiah 49:13-16

"Oh, great meatball and mozzarella-cheddar cheese with extra parmesan god, bestow upon us your saucy goodness bless us with your oregano seasoning, grant us all of the cheese we could desire for the rest of our lives In your toasty name we ask all of this -- Ameat"
~Brandi

"Man's perennial efforts to take himself in hand, however he attempts it, lead to the greatest bondage in which man misses what he was meant to be. Man's true freedom does not consist of the unfettered power to direct his life, either in a political or in a Stoic sense. It lies in life with God, lived as it was originally intended by God for man. He only gains this as he denies himself. Paradoxically, the free man does not belong to himself. He belongs to him who has set him free."
~ J. Blunck

"If facts are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, then the emotions and the impressions of the senses are the fertile soil in which the seeds must grow." - Rachel Carson

About Me:

I am…
A daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend. I am a partner, a student, a young girl and a grown woman. I am confident and scared, terrified and excited. I am loving and caring and thoughtful and hopeful. I am sick and tired. I am shy and friendly, and careful and careless. I am broken and whole. I am misunderstood, misguided, and mislead. I am hardworking and determined, but a little scared on the inside. I wish on stars and dream my dreams. I pray to God and cry my tears. I smile on the outside while I’m dying on the inside. I listen to others who won’t listen to me. I walk on eggshells, and I walk on fire. I believe in passion and true love. I hold my head high and see with my heart. I am searching and I have found. I am everything and nothing all at once. I am all things to all people. I am undefined.