What a weekend!

Okay, so here’s the scoop on what happened this weekend. This has already been an emotional week for me because I had to say goodbye to Jonesy (my foster brother of two years that is being adopted) last night and we had Genesis Prayer meeting last night too. But I digress….

Saturday morning, God woke me up at 4am and I knew that I needed to read my friend Lewis’s facebook (See, God does use facebook!). I got to his page and saw a status and a post that had been put up nearly an hour ago (3am). The status said, “Scum of the earth, refuse of the world, put on display at the end of the procession. Whipped, beaten, shipwrecked, stoned, jailed, burned, sawed in half, beheaded and crucified. Hungry, tired, lonely, crushed, mocked and doubted. Paul took the lash 195 times, Peter was nailed upside-down, John lost his head, Steven was crushed by rocks. The name of Jesus, properly spoken, should silence a room, if only for these.” Even though I wasn’t speaking out loud, my room went silent and it was… Supernatural.

I then read the post,

“Dear Sin Nature,

If I believe that the Bible is true (Romans 6-8), then you are SO DEAD.

YOU'RE DEADER THAN DEAD; YOU'RE SUPER-DEAD.

IF I have been born again, that is saved by the risen son of God, then you are DEAD.

DEAD MEANS NOT ALIVE, AKA NO LONGER ACTIVE OR VALID.

THANKS ANYWAY, GOOD TRY, BUT YOU = FAIL.

When I act as though you are still alive, I am gravely (haha, pun) mistaken. It’s like being in a jail cell that is unlocked. I am, in reality, not a prisoner anymore. The choice to function as one is mine, not yours, because you’re DEAD.

Yes, it is easier to do what I already know, but this is not what Jesus is asking me to do. I am being transformed, my mind is being renewed by the word of God and He is UNCONDITIONALLY committed to the process that makes me more like Him. Not you. You’re dead.

My most insincere regards to your rotting corpse, thanks for all the pain, doubt and suffering you caused,

Lewis Kleiner, new creature, alive in Christ.”

God used this to help me see that I was still standing in my cell, my prison, even though the door was wide open! It didn’t matter who made the prison, how it was formed, or why I stayed in it for so long; all that was forgiven and forgotten so that I could come out of it knowing that God led the way for me, all I had to do was follow Him. In the silence of my room, God held out His perfect hand to me and bid me to take it and let Him lead me out of my prison. It literally didn’t matter if I built the prison or if I just let myself be caught up in someone else’s prison, it was all forgiven and the door was flung open. I took His hand and wondered how I had stayed there for so long.

I processed this all weekend amidst all the things going on with Jonesy leaving and Keri and I looking for a new place to live… it’s been a busy weekend and this week is looking to be much the same. But God has been so good to me through it all, giving me extra strength for the day and then letting me rest at home, to play and talk with some beloved friends, and praise in church (can we just talk about how God spoke through the worship on Sunday? wow.) and letting me know that it’s okay that I’m still processing it even now! God knows that my brain has not caught up with my heart and it may not ever catch up, and that's okay. I don't need to be able to wrap my mind around what God has done in my life in order to accept it.

Last night, in prayer meeting, I'm sure we were supposed to be praying about something specific, but God had a grip on my heart and showed me in my mind's eye the cell that I have been living in. He showed me three solid walls and on open cage door. He walked into the cell, turned and looked at me with love shining out of His eyes, and then he raised His pierced hands and blew all four walls to pieces! Never again shall I live in that dirty cell when I can fly with Jesus!!

when i think about the Lord
how He saved me, how He raised me
how He filled me with the Holy Ghost
how He healed me to the uttermost
when i think about the Lord
how he picked me up
turned me around
how He set my feet
on solid ground

it makes me want to shout
hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you're worthy
of all the glory, and all the honor
and all the praise!
Hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you're worthy
of all the glory, and all the honor
and all the praise!

Phil 3:12-16
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained."

Questions? Comments?

With who's voice do you speak?

Last night was our first night of prayer for Genesis and the Tacketts. There were eight people and God. It was good. And a few things were revealed that night. Some to me, some to Lewis. For Lewis, the power of prayer in his life and in the life of his future pastor came to a new light and he felt compelled to do something about it. I smiled at the man of God I saw in him last night. And while Lewis was talking about God doing something, although he did not know what, God was whispering in my ear and showing me a glimpse at what the end result will look like in both Lewis and CT's lives. I'm pretty sure I giggled.

For me, it was something different. Yes, the power of prayer, but also the voice with which we as Christians speak. We can speak with our voice and things get accomplished. But Psalm 29 talks about the voice of God and all that it can accomplish.

³ The voice of the LORD is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the LORD thunders over the mighty waters.

⁴ The voice of the LORD is powerful;
the voice of the LORD is majestic.

⁵ The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars;
the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.

⁶ He makes Lebanon skip like a calf,
Sirion like a young wild ox.

⁷ The voice of the LORD strikes
with flashes of lightning.

⁸ The voice of the LORD shakes the desert;
the LORD shakes the Desert of Kadesh.

⁹ The voice of the LORD twists the oaks
and strips the forests bare.
And in his temple all cry, "Glory!"

All this is accomplished simply by His voice! What a voice it is! What could we accomplish if we spoke with the voice of God? Meaning, how would lives, our own and of those around us, change if we spoke only what God told us to speak and then speak it with the power and authority that He has given us? How would our own lives change if we listened for the voice of God before we listened for the voice of Oprah or Dr. Phil to tell us how to live? There is a truth in the voice of God that is unparalleled!

Last night I prayed for Genesis, Craig, Brittany, and Tyler. I prayed for the people in the room with me, I prayed for people that were not there, and I prayed for myself. I prayed that I would be able to see the truth in the people around me, that I would be able to see truth like a shining light and run from any darkness. I have recently been fighting against a disillusionment that I had with a few different pastors to whom I listen. It bothered me for a while that what they were saying was not original, that it came from some other pastor. I think it bothered me most because they seemed to own what they were saying to such an extent that I hadn't even thought for a second where they learned it. But God reminded me that there is nothing new under the sun and just because they didn't personally think up these good things, that does not devalue what they were saying. The voice with which they spoke was so powerful, I didn't even stop to think where the information came from, only that it was right. Part of that scares me and prompted me to pray to see truth. The wool has been pulled over my eyes in the past and I have no desire to reenact that scene. God has given me a lot of discernment over the years, but I know I need to be closer to Him, to be engulfed in Him.

Here's a song that's been speaking to me a lot lately:

Burn Us Up by Shane & Shane

There were three
Before the king
There were three who wouldn’t bow to him
For when you heard
The music play
And you were standing you would burn.
They looked at him and said…

Burn us up! Burn us up! Burn us up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of
Your desire
We give up! We give up! We give up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of
Your desire!
Won’t you throw us in the fire!

The king enraged
At what they said
Sent the three away to find their death
The palace stopped in unbelief
When the guilty raised their hands to sing
They looked at him and said…

You are able to deliver from the fire of affliction
It’s the declaration of my Lord
You’re not an image of gold
You’re the God of old
You have made us
Come and save us
We are Yours
But even if You don’t, we will burn!

Rab-Koach

Rab-Koach, "mighty power", is the name of God I learned today.

1 Chronicles 29:11-12 (New Living Translation)

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things. Wealth and honor come from you alone, for you rule over everything. Power and might are in your hand, and at your discretion people are made great and given strength.

Everything I think and do is so self-centered! I even praise God selfishly. I sing His glories, but I think how they relate back to ME and how I glory in them, and the many ways He shows His glory to ME. It's about God, but it's also about me. How can be totally self-less in my praise? How can I praise God without thinking of myself in any way? Can humans even do that? Is it even possible? Can I praise God without having an "I", "me", "us", and even a "them"?

God's power is mighty, yet we pay it no heed. We say with our words that God has all the power, but then we go out and try to control our lives and the lives of those around us. To be a true Christ-follower and a true leader of man takes a balance that many cannot achieve.

Father, help me understand Your power in a new way today. Help me see You in a new light, help me hear You speak to me clearly. Help me submit to Your leadership, to Your ultimate power.