Monday, October 13, 2008


Turn and face the strange cha-cha-cha-changes....

2008 has been a year of changes for me. Most of them have been amazing! I've moved from being on my own, to living with my parents, to living on my own again with my wonderful roommate! I've gone from not knowing what I wanted out of life, to finding a path the follow that I know will lead me in the right way. I've spent time in tears, I've spent time in side-splitting laughter, and I've spent time in contemplation and here's what I've come up with:

Everything has a price of some kind.

In our free-gift-with-purchase society, people love to find free things, even if it's something they don't really need. More often than not, the things we really need are not free, and in most cases, are not cheap. Things of worth are often quite pricey.

Choices also have a cost, and not just the choices about what to buy, what to wear, or what to say. The choice of what to believe also has a cost, and most often, this has the highest cost of all. This choice could cost friends, family, and lifestyle. The real question you have to ask yourself is this: is it worth it? Are your personal beliefs worth losing a friend or a family member? Are they worth changing your entire lifestyle and "coming clean" with all the people who had been involved in that lifestyle with you?

Personally, my answers is yes. Because it has to be. I have to believe that the choices I make now, for eternity, are worth the struggles that I face here and now. The loss of a very dear friend, not by death but by their choice to walk away, has been the cost of my choice. It was certainly their choice to walk away and I will respect their choices as I hoped they would have respected mine, but that does not mean that I forget them, stop thinking about them, or stop loving them the same as I always have. Unfortunately that does not make the pain caused by the loss any less great. But instead of wallowing in self-pity or changing what I believe in order to win that friend back (as I would have done a year ago), I find comfort in the knowledge that my eternity is set and the Ruler of that eternity has the whole situation under complete control. It's a strange feeling to be mourning the loss of a dear friend (who really hates me now) while at the same time, being able to smile and know that it's alright. That God knows about the whole situation and that He is continuing to work where I cannot anymore.

So the cost of my most recent choice was a friend. What will the next cost be? I don't know. Will it be worth it? If the cause is for eternity, yes.

My prayers will always be with you, Friend. Always.

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