Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Head-In-Cloud Fantasies Keep Her Up Nights

Has anyone ever told you to “get your head out of the clouds”? Has anyone ever stopped and asked “just what you were thinking”? Have you ever wondered what you were thinking? I have. I seem to live in a little dream world where fantastic things could happen, but hardly ever do and then I get disappointed because reality is not like my dream world. But disappointments have not stopped me from dreaming in my little world. Disappointments have not stopped me from staying awake at night, dreaming of what could be, what’s nearly impossible but still nice to think about, and what is and how that is so close to what could be.

Speaking for myself only, I understand that living in a dream world is neither practical nor realistic. I know that you can’t live your whole life in a fantasy land where ordinary people like me are suddenly extraordinarily important to the very survival of the earth. I know this is not reality and I know I shouldn’t let it keep me up nights. But it’s still in my head, still pounding away and sometimes I find myself drifting off in the middle of something important because my head is just so full of this “nonsense.”

I often have to ask people to repeat themselves because while they have been talking and while I have been looking right at them, my mind was literally light years away on some fantastic adventure. I might have been saving a race from untimely extinction on some far away planet, I might have been flying through skies of blue populated with purple and orange clouds, or I might have been just down the road at the farmers market (in 1863 of course) perusing the vegetable selection. You just never know. Some people actually ask where I just was, some people recognize the look in my eyes when I’m still looking at them, but my mind has made the jump to fantasy. Not too many though.

My most recent adventure took me to England in 1913, a popular adventure for me. In fact, most of my adventures take me to England at some point in time. Even as I narrate the story in my head, my voice takes on a distinct British accent. I’ve wanted to go to England for as long as I can remember, wanted to see all the silly touristy things, but also wanting to just spend time with the people there. I want to travel to Stratford-Upon-Avon and see the birthplace of Shakespeare, to see the graves of the great British poets of World War One, and to feel the wind on my face as I stand at Stonehenge in Wiltshire.

Will I ever see these places and feel these feelings? Are they really all that important? Today, I’m not sure, but this I do know, I would like to sleep at night instead of staring at my ceiling thinking about fantastical places, people, and adventures. I would enjoy more than 3 hours of sleep a night.

Thoughts on how to accomplish this?

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