Friday, May 1, 2009

what kind of disciple am I really?

Last night was Rhythm (just in case some of you actually missed my facebook/twitter status proclaiming it) and Craig talked about the last supper. He showed images that are forever burned in our memory. Pictures of the Twin Towers, Pearl Harbor, Iwa Jima, and the Veteran's Memorial Wall. As a Navy brat with every branch of the military represented in my family, these pictures mean something special to me and most make my eyes well up with tears when I think about them. Craig's point was this: These pictures bring certain thoughts to our minds, we remember them. Do we remember the cross in the same way? Do we see the white sheet covering the cup and the bread in the front of the church and remember the sacrifice of our Lord? Or do we smile because we know the sermon today will be a little shorter than normal?

He also said this and it pinged my spirit: At the crucifixion, one disciple died, nine ran away in sheer terror, one made it halfway to the cross and then had to stop, and only one out of twelve made it all the way to the cross and stood by Mom's side as her Son was crucified. One out of twelve! Only John made it all the way. When the cards were down, only John was able to go all the way. One out of the twelve men who had walked by His side and saw His tears, His laughter, and His love first hand for three whole years! One out of twelve.

God asked me: what kind of disciple will you be? Will you let yourself take the easy way out and die? Will you run away? Will you not have the strength to make it all the way? Or will you follow me, even to the cross? With tears in my eyes, I answered, I want to be the one who makes it. I want to be at Your feet, regardless of whether they are bloody, dirty, or white as snow. I asked what I had to do to make it. And He said, clear as day, "stay at your post. read scripture. love my children. talk to me. use your gifts." (which by the way is straight out of 1 Timothy 4:13-16).

It was a great night, regardless of any peripheral things happening (and they did happen), God came, God spoke, and God changed my heart even more towards Him.

The podcast will be up here at some point.


Brian said...

I'm still meditating on last Thursday night. Craig drove home the "in remembrance" in a way I'd never seen or heard. It was...beyond great.

shanna said...

Yeah, it was inspired!